Quick Answer: A family online safety agreement sets shared expectations for devices, privacy, spending and asking for help. Write it with your children, include promises adults will keep and make it short enough to use during everyday disagreements. The copy-ready example below gives you a starting point.
An agreement supports conversations and practical settings; it does not guarantee safety or replace adult responsibility. Adapt it to your child’s understanding, accessibility needs and the devices they actually use.
A Copy-Ready Family Online Safety Agreement
This is Impulsec’s suggested wording. Copy the promises that fit your household, then agree your own times, places and support contacts together. You do not need a formal contract or a signature to begin.
- We ask for help early. If a message, person, image or purchase worries us, we tell a trusted adult. Asking for help will not itself lead to punishment.
- Adults listen first. We will stay calm, help with the immediate problem and explain any action we need to take to keep someone safe.
- We protect private information. We check before sharing our address, school, live location or other details that could identify where we are.
- We respect other people. We ask before posting someone’s photo, personal news or private messages. We do not join in bullying or forward humiliating content.
- We agree before adding apps or spending money. We check age requirements, contact settings and purchases together. A free download does not mean everything inside it is free.
- We make room for sleep and everyday life. We agree when entertainment devices stop, where they charge and how schoolwork or accessibility needs are handled. Adults follow the household’s agreed device-free times too.
- We can stop an uncomfortable conversation. Nobody owes another person pictures, money or secrecy because they received a gift or became online friends.
- We protect our accounts. We use separate accounts where appropriate, strong passwords and available sign-in protection. We do not give passwords or verification codes to online contacts.
- We explain supervision. Adults say what controls or checks are used, what they can see and when the arrangement will be reviewed.
- We revisit the rules. We discuss new devices, apps and problems together and change rules that no longer fit.
Before using the agreement, name a primary trusted adult and a backup adult. Decide what your child should do if neither is reachable. Keep these contact details private; they do not belong in a public social-media post.
Turn General Promises Into Household Decisions
A promise such as “use the phone sensibly” is difficult to apply. Make a few clear decisions your child can explain back to you. These examples are choices to discuss, not universal limits.
Devices, Time and Charging
Choose a regular stopping point for entertainment on school nights and decide where devices charge. For example, a family might keep gaming off during homework and charge phones in a shared space overnight. Include exceptions for agreed school tasks, accessibility tools or contacting a caregiver.
Separate different activities instead of treating video calls with family, homework and endless scrolling as interchangeable. If you use a time limit, explain what it covers and how your child can request a reasonable extension.
Apps, Games and Purchases
Agree who approves a new app, who pays and who checks ongoing subscriptions. Those can be different people. A free download, an app-store approval and permission to spend inside a game are separate decisions. Include voice chat, public profiles and contact requests in the discussion instead of treating an age rating as a complete safety decision.
Check the actual service’s age rules and any applicable local requirements. A family agreement cannot override them. Avoid presenting one age threshold as suitable for every app, country and child.
Privacy and Supervision
Be specific about which settings you will review together. Routine account support is different from reading every conversation. Explain any monitoring before using it and agree how it will change as your child becomes more independent.
Name the adult responsible for account recovery and a backup if that person is unavailable. Keep credentials and recovery codes outside the agreement. A child should use their own age-appropriate account where the platform requires it; sharing an adult identity can undermine the protections you intended to set. Use supported family roles instead of passing a parent’s approval password between children.
Make the Agreement Suitable for Your Child
The eSafety Commissioner’s family tech agreements emphasise collaboration and adapting expectations to a child’s development and needs. Younger children may need a few simple promises and adult help. Older children can take more responsibility for settings, purchases and recognising pressure.
For teenagers, discuss what privacy means, what would trigger additional supervision and how to ask for help with an uncomfortable relationship. FOSI’s agreement for teens offers another resource for that conversation. Different rules for siblings can be reasonable when their needs differ; explain why.
Respond to Problems Without Making Help Feel Risky
If a child reports bullying, blackmail or unwanted contact, deal with safety first. Thank them for telling you. Discuss any separate rule breach later, calmly and proportionately. Do not blame a child for another person’s abuse.
For ordinary disagreements, ask what made the promise difficult to keep. You might clarify a rule, change an unrealistic routine or agree a proportionate consequence. Explain the decision and give the child a practical route back to normal use.
If you suspect coercive contact, our online grooming warning signs guide explains reporting and safe handling of messages. An agreement is a prevention tool, not a response plan for an emergency.
Match Device Settings to the Agreement
Use our first-phone safety checklist to align account security, app permissions and purchase settings with your decisions. Check restrictions on the child’s actual device; similarly named controls can work differently across platforms.
If you need to compare additional tools, our parental control app guide explains different family and device needs. Software cannot replace trust, and you do not need to buy an app simply to make an agreement.
Keep It Visible and Review It Together
Keep a copy somewhere the family can find, without private account details. Choose a review point that fits your household, then revisit it sooner if a new phone, game, school routine or safety concern changes what you need. There is no compulsory six-month interval.
Adults should model the promises too. If you need to use a phone during an agreed device-free time, explain why. Recognise sensible choices and helpful disclosures, so the agreement is useful beyond moments when something goes wrong.
Put the Agreement Into Practice
Start with a small set of decisions your child can use without guessing. Choose the ordinary rule, the exception, the adult who can approve it and how the exception ends. Keep a private copy for authorised caregivers. These examples are starting points, not universal time limits or a substitute for a platform’s age requirements.
| Situation | Agreed response | Adult responsibility |
|---|---|---|
| School task continues after entertainment stops | Ask for a specific app or task exception | Decide the scope and expiry; restore the normal routine |
| Unexpected payment or trial | Stop and tell the named payer | Check the real account, billing route and cancellation terms |
| Contact asks for secrecy, pictures or money | Stop replying and seek help | Address safety first and use the appropriate support route |
| Parent is unavailable | Use the agreed backup adult or practical help plan | Keep a reachable contact and explain the fallback |
Rehearse the first two examples without making a real purchase or using harmful content. Ask the child how they would request extra time and how they would tell you about an unexpected charge. If the answer is unclear, improve the rule. Do not make a successful rehearsal a condition for receiving help with a genuine incident.
Agree a pause before ordinary consequences. First establish whether a rule was clear, whether the relevant app actually enforced it and whether a legitimate exception had been granted. A technical failure, an adult’s missed request and a child’s deliberate choice are different situations. Explain a proportionate next step and how normal use can resume.
For an upsetting interaction, keep the promise to help even if the child used an unapproved app. Thank them for telling you, check immediate safety and avoid demanding that they distribute private messages or images to prove the problem. Coercion or threats need the appropriate protection route; a household timer is not the response plan.
Review after a new device, service, school routine or caregiving arrangement. In shared care, communicate the decision between authorised adults rather than making the child negotiate incompatible instructions. School-managed equipment may have its own settings. Write down what changes at home and what remains controlled elsewhere.
Keep the agreement visible and the sensitive details private. Passwords, recovery codes and incident records belong in a suitable secure place, not on the displayed promise sheet. Finish each review with one change to try, who owns it and when you will check whether it helped.
Frequently Asked Questions
Where can I get a printable agreement?
The eSafety Commissioner provides age-adapted printable family tech agreements, and FOSI provides a teen version. You can also copy the suggested promises in this article into your own document.
Does every family need the same screen-time limit?
No. Agree a routine that fits your child’s needs, sleep, schoolwork and other activities. Explain what any limit covers and review it when circumstances change.
Can parental controls replace the agreement?
No. Controls can support selected settings and limits, but children still need clear expectations, trusted adults and a way to ask for help.
Should homework and entertainment use the same rule?
They may need different arrangements. Agree a specific task exception, who can approve it and when it ends, while retaining necessary contact and accessibility tools.
Should passwords and recovery codes go on the agreement?
No. Name who manages recovery, but store credentials and codes securely elsewhere. A displayed agreement should not expose private account or incident details.
Sources and image credits
eSafety family tech agreements; FOSI agreement for teens. Example wording, household decision table and response diagram: Impulsec.
Share this article
Stuart Kerr Spindlow is Impulsec’s Publisher, Chief Editor and Lead Reviewer. He writes and maintains coverage of consumer cybersecurity and digital-safety software, with a focus on practical suitability, limitations and the evidence behind product claims. Read Stuart’s full profile.